Number Six: Cleaning

So today I cleaned out my room.

I packed away everything I wasn't using anymore into bags that I'm going to take to Lifeline tomorrow. It's funny how board games I haven't played in five or so years may end up under the tree of a poverty-stricken child this Christmas. As much as I feel like I'm shedding my youth in preparation for University, I also feel a sense of empowerment, because I may be making a difference in someone's life.

It's funny how you take all the useless shit in your room for granted. I'm sure that all the items I am giving up gave me hours of entertainment at the time of buying. But what now? Thinking back, none of it was really a use to me back then either.

As I was going through my old stuff, I came across this shoe box. It had on it "Meg's Special Box". I had totally forgotten about it. It has all of the awards I've gotten over the years inside it, plus notes and cards from people that I've kept. Most of them are from my really young primary school years, but I must have thrown a whole bunch of Christmas cards in there from year 8. I must say, some of you were very eloquent back then. Most of them just had: "Dear Meg. Have a [insert message that came with card here]. Love [whoever]". Or, if you were someone like Catherine, you wrote: "Dear Meg. This is a card. Good Bye."

There was also a bunch of letters from year 9 and 10. It's funny how obsessed kids can become with letter books. You had to write about the guy you liked in it otherwise people would gnaw at your patience. And you couldn't just tell people your secret out loud; you always had to write it down in the letter book. Obviously, kids are very knowledgable in the fields of blackmail and gathering evidence to embarass someone.

Did anyone else, in primary school, go out of their way to embarass someone? Children are so mean. Then again, I found it spanned up until about year 9. Apparently, according to one of my letters, Tanya would nudge at me every time the guy I liked walked past in junior high school. I remember we did the same in primary school when we would tease Natalie and Sean. Ah, such an odd couple that one (Yes I realise the majority of you don't know who either of those people are, but take my word for it. I'm sure there are names that you can substitute into that sentence to fit your experience.).

With a nose full of dust, I feel rather regretful that I would sometimes open my mouth and embarass people about the most trivial of things, just to make myself feel more powerful. Maybe that's why I felt so righteous when I packed all of the toys I gathered into the car for drop-off tomorrow at Lifeline. I always felt that sinking feeling in my gut after the child being ostracised would blush, but was too proud to admitt my faults. And I wouldn't speak back when the tables were turned on me.

Now, it's different.

I just tell them to fuck off.



Lovemeg